can you please stop critisizing me from head to toe
it DOES NOT help
what in the world?
so what if i cannot style my hair as nice as him?

can you please stop treating me nicely
it DOES NOT help
i am having a false picture
even though i wish it is true

can you please stop acting within
it DOES NOT help
i feel like dying
it's too painful to handle

can you please stop acting as if you know everything
it DOES NOT help
it just makes me wonder
are you having an intimate relationship with him

whatever.

battling.
hopefully the last one.
trust.
if i don't trust You, how do i learn to trust you?
a problem all along.
think it's gonna be a loooooooong battle.
submission, obedience-
not soooooo tough after all.
but trust.
i have problem with it BIG TIME.
crap.
i know i have to fight it all alone.
i need to walk this all alone.
but i want to hide.
too frightening.
getting ready to take flight.

if i don't talk to any of you,
please don't bother to talk to me.
i'm struggling and i do not want to flash you a fake smile.
take too much effort and energy.
i'm sorry in advanced.
don't mean to hurt any.

and you:
don't be nice to me anymore.
don't bother.

don't wanna bruise.

i don't want to do anything and be with anyone tomorrow.
want to skip all my appointments except the one at 10am-just You and me.
crap.
but all will kill me.
i know i can't.
crap crap crap.
if i don't turn up, i'll pay u back your money.
don't want to waste your precious bucks on an empty seat.

izls
what crap.
sigh.
sorry.
thanks for the one week.
enjoyed.
time's up.
next battle.

TRUST.
"Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:4)

you can do it girl.
go on.

sigh.